Thursday, February 7, 2019

Euphmistically Speaking

I overheard a group of whippersnapperns discussing the advantages of rewording the term "terminal wean" to "compassionate extubation" when discontinuing mechanical ventilation and  allowing nature to take it's course in a critical care unit.  Over the years lots of terms were changed: Directoress of Nursing is now Chief Nursing Officer, Hospital Superintendent is now CEO, Janitors are Environmental Engineers, and Personnel became Human Resources.

All this got me to thinking, which is always a dangerous proposition. I'm  in the midst of a midwinter brain freeze when my thoughts are too incoherent for a typical post. Anyhow, here are some terms that could be reworded to be more politically correct or incorrect, depending on your perspective.

Suicide to euthanasia from unbearable emotional pain.

Bathroom privileges to free range bathrooming?  That sounds dumb, but anything is better than B.R.P.

Doctor's orders to physician's proposals.

Physical restraints to boundary maintenance aids.

Near miss to near hit

Drug addict is a label loaded with lots of pejorative connotations. I've never really had to deal with this issue because old school discharge criteria mandated that a patient be relatively pain free upon discharge. There were very few legal narcotics outside the controlled environment of the hospital. So..lets start referring to those poor souls addicted to drugs pharmaceutical aficionados

I'm saving the best for last. An oldie but a goddie; Emesis to feedback. The simplest ones are always best.


6 comments:

  1. Those are hilarious. About thinking, though. I had a thought once, but was told it was too small to be out by itself. The other thought I once had died of loneliness.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the laughs this morning! Re: "Doctors Orders" ~ the last ICU I worked in, we called them "Drs. Suggestions"... we were a pretty autonomous group!
    You've been missed ~ I hope your brain-freeze goes away soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You have brain freeze because of the cold, and here in Oz we have a heatwave over the entire country the like of which we've never had before - it's been unrelenting for months now. Even the roads are melting... I'd love to think of a few clever things too but it's too hot to think! Swap you Australia for Pittsburgh anytime... the thought of snow is blissful. Cheers! Sue

    PS: Poor Sam has to be regularly sprayed over with cool water and given ice cubes to survive the heat... ! Roll on winter I say.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for your wonderful comments.

    Sue, my little hound Patches like to curl up in front of the air conditioning vent when the weather turned too hot. When the A/C cycled off he would give me such a nasty look like I deliberately turned it off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dogs are wonderful! Hope Patches is keeping warm. When we were living in the part of Australia where it snows, Sam would snuggle under the bed doona head first with only his hind feet sticking out and stay like that for hours - it was a wonder he didn't suffocate. I think he used to find a little pocket of warm air...

      I must say the pictures of Chicago on our television screens during the recent Artic Vortex you had over there in the USA were pretty impressive! Stay warm OFRN.

      We had Assistant Matrons who were third in rank after Matron and Deputy Matron and were pretty scary - irreverent student nurses that we were, we called them the Asses for short.

      That's about as much thinking as I can do in this heat - crikey it's hot here! S.

      Delete
    2. Sorry typo - Arctic not Artic! S.

      Delete